I am often a paranoid individual.
I will admit...this did not just happen overnight when I became a mother. I have always struggled with this. I worry about EVERYTHING. Just ask my husband...it drives him nuts. He is always telling me, "Stop worrying so much." I just can't help it.
But becoming a mother has only escalated my paranoia to an all new level. And I think the main cause of this is because of one thing....the baby monitor.
I have a love/hate relationship with the baby monitor. I admit, it's a pretty awesome invention. It makes life much easier as a parent. You can go about your day as the baby sleeps and not have to check on him constantly to make sure he's ok.
Wait...I never actually do that. Because even though I take the baby monitor everywhere with me (I should just superglue it to my head) I still find myself sneaking into his room to make sure he's ok. And I don't just do this once during naptime--I do it multiple times.
WHY, WHY, WHY can't I just trust the baby monitor? If he starts choking, I will hear it. If he wakes up, I will hear it. For some reason, I just can't trust the baby monitor. I've tried...just can't do it.
I recently went to visit my sister for a weekend. I obviously didn't take the baby monitors with me. So each time I put him to sleep and shut the bedroom door, I felt this heaviness in my chest. I found myself often checking on him as he napped to make sure he was ok. My sister was like, "What are you doing? If he starts crying, we'll hear him. He's fine." Well easy for her to say. She has two small children. I'm sure with her first daughter, she did the same thing. When the second one comes along, I think you get to the point where you stop worrying so much.
Just last night, I woke up at 2 AM and thought to myself--why hasn't Landyn gotten up yet? He went to bed early and I figured he would have gotten up by this time to eat. Of course, I had to get out of bed and sneak in his room. There I found him snoring loudly and in a deep sleep (he slept almost 10 hours last night!) I just couldn't trust that darn baby monitor.
One of these days, I know it will get easier and I'll lighten up a bit. But I will never stop worrying about my baby boy. He will be 18 years old and I'll probably still be sneaking in his room to check on him (but it will be to see if he is home by his curfew!)
Gotta go...just heard a hiccup on the baby monitor. Have to check on the baby! :-)
Too cute! And so true! Homer co-slept for the first 6mths, so that really helped but once he was in his own bed...I was sick with worry! Still am and he's 13months;)
ReplyDeleteWe bought a wireless indoor/outdoor camera for Jackson's room. So I can see him sleeping whenever I want because we have an app on the iPad to watch him plus both of our phones...so if I'm at work I can still check on him when he "should" be sleeping. It also has the ability to pan & tilt so when he is playing in there I can spy on him :) Without that I would probably be just like you and checking on him ALL the time with every noise I heard or didn't hear!
ReplyDeleteI'm a paranoid individual as well....constantly worried about everything!! I still use the monitor at night, check on him during naps, freak out if he sleeps past 7am(thinking he wrapped himself in his blankie and suffocated). Point being: He is 2 and I'm still paranoid. You're not alone! ;)
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